A Glimpse of my sweet Zoey

This is my very first post. So thought its was best to start of by introducing my Zoey , the Zoey that Karthik and I were blessed with for the best 5 years , 5 months, and 2 weeks of our life.
Zoey (also known as Zozo at home) was born with head full of thick black hair, big beautiful expressive eyes and a fearless attitude right from the beginning. She was born to us after 3 miscarriages , a very rough pregnancy ridden with strict bed rest and multiple hospitalizations. I remember feeling giddy with joy when my husband placed her on my chest for the very first time. Oh …that feeling … Like the world is at your feet and anything is possible. …I remember staring at her round baby face at night for hours together and wonder what she would be like in 1 year, 2 years, 5 years …10 years…. Well we will never know …
Zoey grew to be a very happy and healthy little 5 year old. She loved anything pink , purple and red. My baby girl. She had two loves. One was books and the other was dancing. She just loved reading right from the beginning.  As a baby she would look at pictures and then she slowly started recognising her ABCs …and words and sentences ..By age 4 she was reading kindergarten books and by age 5 she was on grade 2 books. And yes dancing …. If there was music playing anywhere my sweet baby girl would just get up and dance. She would dance to any music, be it slow ballet music , or fast toe tapping Bollywood songs. She danced to swan lake at her pre-k gradutaion ceremony, the summer,2 months before that monster started showing its presence. She was supposed to start indian classical dance (bharatnatyam) after she turned 5.
 Se had a very unusually geeky side as well.  She remembered   every dinosaur name under the sun, remembered every type of fish out there and sharks ….. She knew which shark was dangerous and which were harmless. Have you seen a 2 year old baby girl carry a hammerhead shark soft toy around 🙂 we have :). Have you been asked for a pink dinosaur at the the Science Center in Baltimore. we have. Her daddy would take her to the Adventure aquarium to pet baby sharks almost every week during spring and summer. It was a daddy -zoey Sunday as they called it.
She was my one and only one Zoey. The one Zoey who loved everyone she came across. The one Zoey who loved to talk and had an her kiddie opinion about everything under the sun. she was loved by Karthik and I, both her maternal and paternal grandparents, her aunts, her uncles, her cousins, her little friends, her little baby brother, every single day of her incredibly short but full life. The Zoey who was fair to everyone. When asked which of her friends she would like to invite to her 5 th birthday party, she said she would want them all ….otherwise some kids would feel left out ….that’s how fair she was ….But life wasn’t fair to her.Was it ? Did she grow up to the ballet dancer or the marine paleontologist she wanted to be. No she did not. Because of 4 letters DIPG. I will talk about the monster that took my Zoey away from me, but not here. This blog entry is only about getting to know our sweet, beautiful, forever 5 Zoey.

I could go on and on but a glimpse by its definition , is meant to be short. So I end this blogpost with few of her beautiful pictures …
Zoey’s mom forever


Smiling Zoey

Smiling Zoey

My cutie

My cutie


18 thoughts on “A Glimpse of my sweet Zoey

  1. Suman, This is absolutely beautiful.Though I have never met Zoey in person ,hearing from you about her is like I have known forever. Our family always remember Zoey whenever we talk about Megha.I wish we had some reasoning for all these..she is a beautiful darling and always will be..

  2. Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with us all……………….CANCER SUCKS……………….xoxo

  3. That was a beautiful beginning . Always waiting to hear more about our darling . I know there is so much more , was it only 5 years ? You and Karthik have been wonderful parents and filled those 5 years with a lifetime of love and care. But for all that indulgence , my Zozo was not spoilt .

  4. Beautiful thoughts about Zoey. Thanks for sharing . It makes me adore my two little darlings more than ever. May God bless you to carry your mission against cancer. Looking forward for any help you need.

  5. Dear Suman,
    Zoey is very much alive to me. I have not just been working on her portrait but moreso allowing her to touch my Spirit. I have come to love her very much and so while your journey has been life without her, even when all I could muster up was sitting in front of a blank canvas praying to Zoey and the angels, or holding my brushes just thinking about her…and opening my heart to her…my life has been life with Zoey. I talk to her and about her to everyone that knows me, and I introduce her to people. She is portraying herself as very radiant, confident, and happy. From the beginnings, which were her eyes being confidently painted i felt a lot of energy and “wow, this kid wants to come out!“ And this is just a glimpse of my experience with her. For when I read your second post I knew that my journey behind the scenes with her needed to be shared with you. I intended to paint her and remain invisible in the matter, so God’s Light and Will would not be obscured by my humanity, but the story I am experiencing is just as beautiful as the picture. And who am I to keep it hidden away behind a veil of humility! 😉 There is so much more.
    With Love.

    • Reading this just melted my heart. I was having a particularly bad day and reading about how zoey has touched your life made it better for me.
      Thanks a ton,
      Suman (Zoey’s mom forever)

  6. Dear Suman,
    Thank you for sharing Zoey’s beautiful story. It has humbled me and brought me to tears. Your courage and love is inspiring and your advice on enjoying the little things every single day is truly invaluable. You and Zoey will always be in my heart.

  7. Oh Zoey… How beautiful you are and how gorgeous you would have grown up to be… I can only imagine!
    Suman, please go on and on about your Zoey.. For I want to read on and on!

  8. Suman, just abt 2 sleep n came across ur blog. ..u r a brave mother….having seen ur princess slip out of ur hand….i m a pediatrician….seeing a small child pass way is horrible….but seeing dat parent aftr dat child gors away is worst….seeing thm searching for their child ….with u in ur grief.. .tk cr

  9. Suman , Zoey is eternal . Will never never never forget the love she has given to us . She lives in our heart and is thought about every day . We may get busy with our lives , doing our duties etc …but she is there with us every breath .
    Telling you my experience ….every place I visit , shez with me . In my thoughts .
    Loving Aunt of a ever loving niece.

  10. Dear Suman,
    Zoey is beautiful and she hasn’t gone anywhere . She is around you, watching and adoring you always. I cried so much after reading your blog.I really appreciate you making such an effort to create awareness of pediatric cancer. Big hugs to you.


  11. Dear Suman,
    We have often told to have faith in God , do good, be good and good things will happen to you, everything that happens is for a reason etc etc. But all these statements seem so pointless as these cannot bring Zoey back or anyone for that matter who has passed way too early.We are all so helpless as humans. Zoey could not have deserved better parents than you both. Zoey is lucky to have you both as much as you were lucky to have Zoey for the little time she spent on earth. You both did everything that you could to keep Zoey with you. There is no doubt that your lives have changed forever and nobody – repeat nobody can replace Zoey and time will not heal such a deep loss. Only you know how it feels. Rest of us are all helpless people that will get on with our lives. Since I’m a stranger to you, what I’m going to ask now should not have any impact hopefully and I apologize in advance if for any reason have upset you in an already worse situation. Have you considered adopting a baby girl ? The reason I ask is not because that girl will take Zoey’s place, not because that girl will erase all the things you went through and still going through, not because your sons will get a sister.

    but because that girl will get you and Karthik. I’m sure Zoey wouldnt mind either.

  12. Sorry for the previous unsolicited advise. Although I’m deeply pained by all that happened to Zoey, I dont feel the pain you are feeling and I dont understand what you are going through. I’m just another helpless human being that happen to find this blog of yours. I can only say I’m now more aware of devastating childhood illnesses through Zoey and you. I think only people that personally know you can advise you on how to cope the loss. As a fellow human I will pray to give you guys more courage. Can you please do me a favor ? Could you post details of Zoey’s time of birth and place of birth ? I’m student of vedic astrology( No I dont give predictions for others or make money – I’m an IT professional ) and want to study her chart so I can understand the planetary combinations for this deadly disease.

    • PG , please don’t apologise for commenting here and advising us. Adoption hasn’t been ruled out for us but with 2 kids so small our hands and everything else is completely full….24 hrs seem less.
      Zoey was born on June 11 2007 at 9:13 pm local time. Per her Kundali she was going to live till 60.
      Please feel free to pm me at suman26@yahoo.com if you find anything in your research. Would love to know.

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