Hey Krishna , Hey Krishna, Hey Krishna re
Hey Krishna , Hey Krishna , Krishna bolo re.
The YouTube link to the song: ( it’s in Hindi, there is a version of this in English as well which I couldn’t find online. I will add it when I find it)
Little did I know this song would change my world and my life altogether. For those who aren’t familiar with this song, it’s a song from a mythological children’s film called Krishna And Kans. The movie is about a little boy ( incarnation of Hindu God Vishnu ), who uses his mystical and supernatural powers to fight evil and save people from an evil king called Kans.
I had always known my baby as an intelligent, charming, and spirited little girl. I had seen the defiant side of her, oh so many times ! Especially when it came to meal times ….she never ever seemed to have time to eat, there were always games to be played, books to be read, TV to be watched or her just wanting her mom to feed her …. Just because she said so. But I have to say nothing could prepare me for the spiritual side of my daughter that we witnessed between September and November last year.
She got diagnosed with the worst pediatric brain cancer there is. Yes the worst there is. DIPG steals the child of all the motor skills one at a time , while leaving the child’s cognitive abilities intact. All along the child is aware of the changes happening the body, but doesn’t understand why it is happening. Imagine a child not able to play and run outside, not able to eat his favorite foods, not able to go to school, not able to see, not able to talk, express his or her feelings in words , not able to cry, smile , laugh or move any part of the face and finally not able to breathe. Imagine this happening slowly over a period of weeks or months.
So when I say it is the worst pediatric cancer there is, I mean it. Of course it has a zero percent survival rate , but what it does to the child is nothing but pure torture of the worst kind.
So when I first heard about this insidious monster, I prayed and prayed that my baby girl not suffer and somehow be miraculously healed from it. We all prayed and told her to pray to her god and how he takes care of things when we cannot. Her grandparents had already introduced her to the various stories revolving around Hindu gods like krishna and rama etc. She seemed to take a keen interest in knowing more about a little boy who could fight evil with his goodness and supernatural powers. She saw videos of little krishna online and was hooked onto this boy. I think she related to him. She was also fighting the boo-boo in her brain with her super natural powers. Every morning she would wake up , jump out of our bed, rush to her room where she had a small Krishna idol. She would pretend to wake up him from sleep , talk to him, insist on offering some almonds and butter, and then go down for some breakfast that her grandma would have made with all her love. While having breakfast , she would dance to the song mentioned above.
Then I’d pack her some of favorite snacks and she would be all ready to go for her radiation session at the hospital. Her daddy told her that she had to wear a mask ( the mask used to keep the head in place during radiation) to fight her boo-boo just like all other super heroes do. Every morning she would wake up and go for her “Super Zoey” session. This was our morning routine for 6 weeks from mid September to October end last year.
Even after returning from her radiation session she would be cheerful, happy and full of life. We would play games, play scrabble, make fresh juice using the juicer, read books together etc. She had so much fun ordering her mom and grandparents around at home. We thought radiation would tire her out, but not my super Zoey. She also prayed to God, every single day to take that boo-boo away. Her conviction that God would take care of her was so strong, that it amazed me sometimes. One evening on the way back from an evening of Halloween fun with friend’s family, she sensed her dad was trying to hide his tears. She told her dad “daddy, don’t be angry with God, he did not give me this boo-boo, he is the one who will take it away”. This was coming from our 5-year-old ….. I truly believe her undying faith is what spared her of the usual devastating symptoms. She was almost normal till the end and I will be eternally grateful to her Krishna for that.
It will be 11 months this 25th since we said goodbye to our sweet baby and every time I hear the “hey krishna” song I think of her dancing with her favorite Krishna.
In her own way my girl taught to us never to lose faith and believe in miracles. She fought DIPG with faith and hope like no other 5-year-old i know. I thank you Zoey for coming into our lives and spreading cheer, love and joy for the 5 years, 5 months and 2 weeks that you gave us. We miss you, but know that we will see you someday… Till then you dance away up there with your little Krishna by your side. Love you forever.