Zoey Kanna

Today is Krishna Janmastami. It is an annual celebration of the birth of the Hindu deity “Krishna”.

As I prepare for this festival my thoughts go back to my one and only one, Krishna-loving baby girl. I went back and read and re-read my older articles on my blog about her love for him. To say I miss her is a gross understatement of how I feel. It’s like breathing, it never ceases. She is always on my mind and in my heart.

( https://withoutmyzoey.wordpress.com/2013/10/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/suman-ganesh/profound-conversations-with-my-5-year-old-baby-girl_b_4763811.html?ir=India&adsSiteOverride=in )

I remember calling her “Zoey Kanna” right from the beginning. In south India, the pet name “Kanna” is typically given to little baby boys, but for me she was my boy, my girl, my everything. The lullabies I sang to her at night always started and ended with Zoey Kanna. It’s funny how she would order me around, “Mom sing the Zoey Kanna song for me!”. Every single night without fail. Even today, I as put little baby Hari to sleep I can’t help but sing the same words. Maybe that was her plan from the beginning. Get me used to singing these songs so they’d fit right with these boys.
Today as I dress these two boys in their Krishna costumes I can’t help but wonder at this divine circle of life. While I miss my girl with everything I have, I see these two cuties in their Krishna outfits, playing with each other and it just melts my heart. I can only imagine my first born eating butter and playing with her little friend, as she smiles down on her poor mom. Miss you my “Kanna”. Love you to the moon and back , as always.