Zoey Kanna

Today is Krishna Janmastami. It is an annual celebration of the birth of the Hindu deity “Krishna”.

As I prepare for this festival my thoughts go back to my one and only one, Krishna-loving baby girl. I went back and read and re-read my older articles on my blog about her love for him. To say I miss her is a gross understatement of how I feel. It’s like breathing, it never ceases. She is always on my mind and in my heart.

( https://withoutmyzoey.wordpress.com/2013/10/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/suman-ganesh/profound-conversations-with-my-5-year-old-baby-girl_b_4763811.html?ir=India&adsSiteOverride=in )

I remember calling her “Zoey Kanna” right from the beginning. In south India, the pet name “Kanna” is typically given to little baby boys, but for me she was my boy, my girl, my everything. The lullabies I sang to her at night always started and ended with Zoey Kanna. It’s funny how she would order me around, “Mom sing the Zoey Kanna song for me!”. Every single night without fail. Even today, I as put little baby Hari to sleep I can’t help but sing the same words. Maybe that was her plan from the beginning. Get me used to singing these songs so they’d fit right with these boys.
Today as I dress these two boys in their Krishna costumes I can’t help but wonder at this divine circle of life. While I miss my girl with everything I have, I see these two cuties in their Krishna outfits, playing with each other and it just melts my heart. I can only imagine my first born eating butter and playing with her little friend, as she smiles down on her poor mom. Miss you my “Kanna”. Love you to the moon and back , as always.

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7 thoughts on “Zoey Kanna

    • You have done a wonderful job of sharing your Zoey with us through your blog. I was talking to my mom on Krishna jayanthi and the first thing I shared was about this little girl who was a fan of Krishna even at 4. Thank you for making her a part of our lives.
      Aruna

  1. Dear Suman,
    You don’t know me. I came across your blog tonight out of blue………I could not stop reading even though it is so heartbreaking and tears are pouring down my eyes as I write this. It would be wrong to say I feel your pain, I can’t because I have never faced what you have. But the picture you have painted of Zoey with your blog, it is so beautiful and profound. I am in awe of her strength, her beauty and the grace she exhibited till the very end of her physical being and the presence she has now in her bothers’ life. If I have learned something from this beautiful girl tonight is that to live everyday with laughter and joy even when facing the greatest adversary. I will always keep that in mind and try- I don’t know if I have the strength and courage to do so but I will try.

  2. There are many things we do to a kid to make them happy. Many moments we share with them. Though it won’t feel that important at the time we do it. While we are alone, away from them, every minute details starts filling up our heart, those smiles, giggles everything we are able to recollect. The power of love is enormous Suman.

    Missing some one is a pain, but as you rightly said that is the ‘divine circle of life’. Keep Going!

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