June | 2019 | withoutmyzoey

It’s been ages since I have written here. What can I say. Life has gotten in the way. Nevertheless decided to make some time and write this morning. It’s June 2019 ..Hari is 5 , Anay is 6 and a half, and my Zoey would have turned 12 next week. To the outside world, we continue to function as a this ‘normal’ family of four. However Zoey continues to be missed by her dada and I …. she is constantly in our thoughts. Missing her and longing for her, has become this integral part of my being. It doesn’t take away from the joy and happiness I experience everyday and I truly feel blessed to have Zoey’s dad, brothers and her loved ones, in my life. However the void she has left behind, the sadness, and the unending grief remains ….. and it will continue to remain until the end of time.

Miss you Zozo

Recently, our little family crossed a major milestone. Zoey’s brothers decided it was time to start sleeping in their own room for the night. For most families this is just a natural progression in their child’s life. For Karthik and I this is a big deal. See when Zoey was here, she occupied prime real estate on our bed. She slept between Karthik and I for all of her short life. She never ever left it. We tried to have sleep in her own room after she turned 5, however, it didn’t go too well. She clearly wasn’t ready to sleep all night, by herself in her own room. So after one unsuccessful attempt we gave in and she reclaimed her place back in our bed. After that she never left …..

So as Zoey’s brothers came into our lives, we decided they will be in our room as long as they want. They slept in between Karthik and I for most of their toddler years. When they got bigger and we couldn’t all fit on one bed, we bought little little cots for them and placed them in our room. This was much easier on us, especially when they woke up, we could pat them right back to sleep. They felt safe and slept peacefully and happily in our room. However when Zoey’s soccer ball turned 6 last year, he finally started asking for his own room. The irony is that while he was ready for this natural next step, his dad and I weren’t. We needed our kids to be with us at night. We stalled … giving excuses of how much we will miss him at night etc. However my boy had out-grown his little cot and he was really looking forward to being independent 😊. So we reluctantly let both the boys sleep by themselves one night. Surprisingly this time around, the transition was really smooth. No resistance, no tears and no coming back to our bed in the middle of night. They seem to play and chat with each other, before falling asleep every night. I on the other hand, am still getting used this new reality. Getting our own room and bed back after nearly 11 years of sharing it with little people 😊. It’s a change that I am still getting used to.

I decided to share all this on Zoey’s blog, in hope of helping other parents out there. Parents that are trying to sleep-train their toddlers. Parents that have “had it” with kids waking them the millionth time in the middle of night. Parents that haven’t slept through the night for years. I know I’ve been there. Every time you feel you can’t take it anymore, think about this parent that would give her life to have her child snuggled up in her bed. It will hopefully give you a whole new perspective on what’s important in life. (Not that your sanity and sleep are less important). Know that eventually your child will grow out of their sleeping habits and demand to be more independent. It will happen, it’s only a matter of time. Till then enjoy the little moments, the kisses , the snuggles and the extra long sleepless nights 🙂