Happy birthday my dearest Zoey. Today you are all of 14. Were you alive, you would have been in the first year of high school. Frankly, I am not sure how to imagine you as a teen. For me you will always remain that kind and spirited 5-year-old. And I will not go down the slippery slope of what would have been or what could have been. Because it is pointless and it only adds to my heartache and longing. And today is day to celebrate you and not sulk around with the “what If’s”.
I just realized it’s been exactly a year since I wrote here. What a year it has been! With the coronavirus pandemic affecting the world, millions of lives being lost and all the grief and sadness that results from losing so many lives … Sigh ! It has been a tough year. However, while the last year tested our resilience, it was not all bad. We saw the scientific community come together and develop multiple vaccines against this deadly virus in a matter of months! Hats off to all the researchers, scientists and lab technicians that worked so relentlessly to make this happen. I often wonder would there be a treatment for DIPG had it affected more children. Is it all a number game? I understand 500 kids in a year isn’t a lot , but multiply that by 50 plus years. Kids have been dying of this horrendous cancer for years, and yet not much progress has been made.
On a personal front, the last year has been extremely busy and blessed. Work from home, virtual school, extra curricular activities for your brothers and everything else in between, definitely keeps me on my toes. Your brothers are growing up too fast. Hari recently turned 7 and Anay is 8 and 1/2. They just completed their spring soccer season and are learning to play the piano. They both are naughty, and full of mischief and they often gang up on me. They are inseparable. They are fighting one minute and back to playing in no time. They still include you in their conversations. But now they are aware that you passed away from cancer , and didn’t just go to the moon like we told them when they were toddlers. They have been talking about your birthday all week. Thankfully, this year the children’s hospital is open to having your birthday celebrations. So we plan to have a luncheon tomorrow for the children and their families being treated on the pediatric cancer floor. Your brothers helped me assemble the goody bags and we will have cupcakes and lunch for everyone. Your Dada and I are so grateful that the hospital is allowing it this year.
At home your brothers , your Dada and I plan to celebrate with pizza and and a lot of ice cream. We will visit that special shark themed ice cream shop that we believe you would have loved ! Dearest Zozo, know that you will be loved and missed immensely by all your loved ones today. And love you my baby girl ….as always …. to the moon and back.
withoutmyzoey 